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13 March 2007 @ 06:32 pm

There are some pics up there and a brief profile of myself. Notice, I am now officially studying Wicca. Yes I am pagan. Yes I believe in the Goddess. And yes I will be trying to join a coven/ tradition.

I have been studying this path for roughly six years. I finally took the plunge and am happier than ever. It is something I have believed in subconsiously all my life. I felt betrayed by my Christian upbringing and never really bought into the whole Jesus hype.

Matt is going to Hamrick School (to get his CDL) beginning on Monday and they guarantee job placement so yay.

Kaelynne hit the two month mark Sunday.

Logan played ball in the backyard for the first time today.

That's the big news in life for me right now. Thought I should update finally lol.
16 January 2007 @ 04:56 pm
Kaelynne Elizabeth Sabo
Born 1-14-2007 at 12:16pm
8lbs 3oz
21 inches

Mommy and baby doing great. Just got home today at 11am. Will post birth story later. Logan is happy about his baby sister too.

Got the keys to our house on Saturday night will be moving this week. I may not be on the computer for a while as we will have to have the cable/internet/phone hooked up in the new place.

Talk to everyone later.
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
28 December 2006 @ 10:48 pm
Finally an update. I have been crazy lately. Between the holidays, pregnancy and buying a house life has just been chaotic. First off I hope everyone had a good Christmas. Ours was pretty quiet and Logan made out like a bandit. Sadly all of my Christmas decorations are already down and packed away about a week earlier than they normally are. I'm so sad the holiday is over. This time of year usually relaxes me.

In baby news, as of yesterday I am 3cm dialated and in the words of my midwife, "won't make it to my due date" which is January 13. She said she will see me next week one way or the other, either at my weekly check or in delivery. EEEK. I don't know why but as prepared as I know I am I feel totally out of control. There are sooooooo many things to do yet and loose ends to tie up I feel like I won't get anything done.

One less thing that we are stressed about is buying a house. Our offer on the house we found was accepted tonight and our movein date is set for January 15th. Gives us exactly two weeks to get out of here and clean the apartment really well before the inspection. Tomorrow I will start officially packing to move everyting we don't use on a daily basis and decorative stuffs. My goal is to have everything in boxes and ready to go BEFORE Kaelynne is born. I'm hoping that will make life easier on Matt. Obviously I will no help in the moving dept, but Matt has enough friends I think they are going to rent a uhaul for a day and get all the big stuff out in one afternoon. I could care less if it takes us six months to unpack once we are moved in.

Right now I only have a link to the realty one page with the listing on it. But there are pics of the house and the freaking huge backyard especially for a developement.


Anyway in summation, house? Check. Baby? Sometime within the next week or so. Family? Good.

Have a great New Year everyone!!!!!!!!
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
05 December 2006 @ 12:02 am
When you buy juice boxes for Logan do not drink them all yourself. The same goes for the frosted animal crackers.

Word of the day: Sharing
Current Mood: thirstythirsty
24 November 2006 @ 06:12 pm
Fuck the Gap. Who would pay $50.00 for a onesie? Seriously?
Current Mood: confusedconfused
20 November 2006 @ 09:21 pm
Logan has developed some rather odd new behaviors. Some are funny others are down right frustrating.

Firstly there is his new fear of the bath tub. Now this is funny because of how it started. About two weeks ago I was giving him a bath and walked out of the bathroom to grab my phone from my dresser. Out of no where he starts screaming and crying! I run back to him, literally twelve steps to him and he is pinned against the bathtub wall pointing at the water just horrified. I would have freaked out had I not looked into the water at what he was afraid of. It turns out in that very short period of time he had pooped in the tub! And was mortified by it. I scoop him up and wash him off in the sink and clothe him. Bath time used to be his most faveritest time of day but now he fights it. I mean seriously fights me on it. We have been able to compromise and shower instead of bath, but that still takes some creative coorsion on my half.

His newest thing now is procratinating before bedtime and nap time. This is so frustrating for me because it is my only time to myself. Call me selfish, but for my sanity I need it. Matt and I will put him to bed/nap and think everything is fine. Minutes later he is at his door asking for something, telling us something or just trying to come out. I know he is at the age where he doesn't like to stop what he is doing to sleep. And I understand that so I try to give him a heads up at least 15 minutes before. We get some juice and use the potty and it's off to sleep..... I know the routine will work out fine in the end and be stability once Kaelynne is born, but for now it is a power struggle.

So in other news apparently my O.B. had her baby and will be off until February. Now, this is a HUGE deal to me for a number of reasons. I hate doctors with a passion. HATE. DISLIKE, HATE, LOATHE! Her office staff sucks and the other O.B. is a male. I have a problem with male doctors, can't explain it, but I do. The other practitioners in the office are midwives. Great. If I wanted a midwife I would have gone to one in the first place. I dunno. I'm pissed. I'm little less than eight weeks from delivery and I have this to contend with. *Takes a deep breath* I guess I will set up an appointment with one of the midwives for a trial run. Hopefully I can connect with her as well as I did with my O.B.

Pain in the ass.

Things are going better otherwise. Not great, but at this point it is all about the small victories. Baby steps.......
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
20 November 2006 @ 12:32 pm
Hello everyone

I wanted to take a moment and share a community I have just started for the parents or relatives of children who suffer from asthma and/or allergies. It is a place to vent, inquire and share personal experiences.


We only have a very small number of members right now, but I hope it becomes a vastly educational and informational refuse for parents. Remember it is not s substitute for professional medical advice. Tell your friends!

Thank you,
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
10 November 2006 @ 10:55 pm
We've decided on the name Kaelyn Elizabeth for the baby. I'm 29.5 weeks along now. This time of year usually goes by so fast and I feel like there is still so much to do.

Being due two weeks prior to our lease being up is the absolute worst timing in the world. I tried to buy out our lease explaining our situation and they were totally uncooperative. Not only that but they wanted more money to buy it out than if we just payed off the lease alltogether. Which is sadly what we will have to do. That means my goal of moving BEFORE the holidays means we will be paying for two leases for about six weeks. The thought of going month to month crossed our minds but it is an extra $100.00 a month. That would bring our lease to a whopping $900.00 a month. This is Medina for God's sake not fucking Westlake! Then the thought of signing a six month lease seemed like a good idea, however, they want $50.00 extra a month. It's really not worth it. So moving is the only solution.

The question then is where? Rent free with my parents seems like the smart choice. At least for a short time until Matt's job starts to pay better. Moving out of there mid to late summer would be ideal. That is alot of moving though. But it would really give us time to put some money away so if something like this happens again, we will have a cushion. Doing the section 8 thing bothers me for a few reasons. One, because I don't like the areas to choose from, if it were just Matt and I it would be fine, but I'm paranoid enough living here. Two, it's alot of fucking paperwork and hassle with the local and state goverments and Matt's income is almost impossible to prove anyway.

So. I guess I have made my decision. I just don't like to feel like we have failed. Ugh. But I know logically alot of people move back with their parents and if it stands to help my family then it has to be the right decision. I just think I have a pride issue.

Having two kids and being with my parents would be great support too, especially when Matt has to go out of town overnight or work late. And they HAVE said they would help anyway they could. Although, living there is really help enough. I dunno, I'll probaby be there this weekend trying to figure out where all my crap is going to go. FUN.
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
08 November 2006 @ 11:11 pm
Today was a very busy day. It began by picking up a new mail key to my mailbox and picking up my mail that's been held at the post office for saeveral days. Then I had to stop at Job and Family services to return paperwork in hopes of getting my medical insurance back since Matt's job change. I hope to get my pending number by next Thursday so I don't have to fork over another $50.00 for a Dr.s appt. I know I will get reimbersed but the money just isn't around right now and with my appts being every two weeks now, that will add up fast.

Next stop was Brunswick to pick up the bassinet my mom won for me on ebay. The girl was really nice and has a one year old little girl. I think I stayed and talked to her for about 45 minutes! We are going to get together some time for some playdates. She is only a few years older than I so that's nice. I have been having a real hard time finding other young moms to hang out with. I think having some poeple to connect with as a mom would make life easier right now.

Logan was a terror today. It only happens every once in a while, but he was definately demon spawn today. I think though, he is responding to the stress around here lately. I try very hard to hide it, but I know he can sense it.

He has been asking to use the potty for the last month or so now, not every time, but still he is only two and a half years old and Matt and I have never pushed the idea on him. I'm pround of him. He's becoming such a big little guy. He seriously is my buddy. I don't know what I would do without him around. I would be really lonely that's for sure. It's so fun to watch the world through his eyes. Every day it seems he discovers something or says something new. Yesterday he told me he had gas in his butt.

I really don't want to move back with my parents. Tomorrow I am taking an application for section 8 to the MMHA to see if we are eligible. Even if it is only a crutch to get through this rough time with Matt's job. I don't know what else to do. A friend of mine has it and lives in a very nice apartment building where thay have two, three and four bedroom units. I think it is worth looking into. Who knows.

One day at a time.
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
05 November 2006 @ 10:07 pm
My faith is all I have.
< or >
I have lost all faith.

Life has an unexpected way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it and dropping a bomb. This has been my legacy it seems. Every time we take one step forward we are forced to take several back. Recently my husband switched jobs to make more money. Things aren't working out so well, or not in a timely manor. It seems this job takes longer to get situated in (six months to a year) to where we would be pulling in some serious income. For now we are living on less than $200.00 a week. It's hurting us and bad. The decision to take this job was not taken lightly either as some would think, rather it was a difficult move that was meticulously planned by Matt and I. Right now until the denial of being poor wears off, I am blaming the calculator.

By now I am usually humming Christmas songs and going to the stores to look at all things red and green. I feel like the grinch this year. I don't even want Christmas, I just want to know how my rent is going to be paid and where the fuck I'm going to move to after the lease ends in January. My parents have offered for us to move back in with them because this job thing was their idea as Matt works with my brother and it was unforseeable that it would be hard to make money at first. I just don't know if I can deal with the emotional issues in my parents house and I don't want to revisit all my childhood demons.

As it is as soon as my insuance kicks in again I plan to go to some kind of therapy. I know it would be good to talk to an impatial third party. And though managable, my depression/anxiety issues are rearing their ugly heads and I worry about PPD. I'm having a tough time right now and talking might be the best thing.

I know in my heart that I am only given what I can handle and as a family Matt and I have been through much worse. This too shall pass.
Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated